A strong, healthy relationship is a thing of beauty. Although the right relationship should never be too much of a struggle, if you’re currently in or have ever been in a serious, committed relationship, you’ll know that it involves a lot of work. Here are 9 things that will keep your relationship healthy!
1. You have lives outside of each other!
You know those couples who do absolutely everything together? Don’t be one of them! It’s incredibly easy to get into a relationship and suddenly realize a few months (or years!) down the line that you have absolutely no life independent of your partner.
One of the keys to nourishing your romantic relationship is that you don’t let it push your relationships with your family, your friends, and even yourself to one side. If you do, you risk smothering the relationship.
Whilst it might seem strange that I’ve started this list by telling you to think about your other relationships and yourself rather than your partner, it’s important that you don’t become solely dependent on one person.
No one person should be responsible for your entire happiness; it’s too heavy a burden to carry. That’s your job. If you put too much pressure on your partner, it will only cause problems down the line. You’ll have far more interesting things to talk about if you can come back to each other after time apart with stories to tell and new-found knowledge to pass on.
3. You Have Fun Together
I know, the phrase ‘working on your relationship’ doesn’t really sound like much fun. But it should be!
Make sure that as well as having the serious conversations, you’re also making time to have fun together. Think back to the things you did together at the beginning of your relationship and dream up new things you could try.
Try not to take life so seriously and don’t be afraid to be silly and behave like kids again. Revive your in-jokes and take the Mickey out of each other. Enjoy each other’s company!
5. You Stimulate Each Other Intellectually
Whilst you don’t have to take an intellectual interest in all of the same things, you should have a genuine interest in each other’s minds.
One of you might love an outing to a museum or reading a good book on a Sunday afternoon; the other might be more of a film buff.
But, whilst it’s good to have different interests, you should still be able to have conversations that go beyond the superficial. Whether you discuss culture, politics, or even the meaning of life, you should be interested in delving deeper into the other’s thoughts.
If you think this is lacking in your relationship, try turning off the TV now and then, bypassing the small talk, and asking them about morality, aliens, sex, religion, the stars, their insecurities… When you dig deep into the psyche of the person you love, you’ll find buried treasure.
7. You Put All Your Cards On The Table
Honesty is almost always the best policy. A healthy relationship shouldn’t be based on things that you both assume are ‘implied’ in a look or the way you phrase something.
Whilst discussions about relationships can be tricky to negotiate, if you both approach it with the intention of making things completely clear between you, talks like this will typically be positive and strengthen your bond.
Whether it’s a conversation about the future direction of the relationship or talk of a secret wish to emigrate to another country, yours and your partner’s expectations should be spelled out to avoid any confusion.
9. Above All, You’re Always Kind
It can be very easy to find yourself lashing out at your partner. How many times have you cracked and said things you don’t really mean when you feel hurt by something they’ve done or not done?
It can be so tempting and so easy to let something scathing slip, but when you feel the temptation to lash out, keep it in. Passive aggressive behavior, manipulation, and sarcastic comments that you know will hit home will never help any situation.
They’ll only serve to drive a wedge between you and will probably mean your partner will start to put up defensive walls against you, not wanting to be hurt again.
You won’t always agree with one another – and that’s completely normal and healthy – but make it a priority to address any disagreements directly, quickly, and calmly, always holding the intention in your heart of not hurting your partner with any barbed words.
You know them so well that you know how to hit them where it hurts, but by committing to you, they’re trusting you not to use that knowledge against them.
Be kind and love with all your heart, and remember the keys to a successful relationship to to "Die" to self a little more each day! -PQ
